And Away We Go

So, last Tuesday should have marked the beginning of my diet. In a lot of ways, it did. It is the day I started replacing my meals with shakes.

The problem is... it hasn't replaced ALL of my meals.

~ It started on Tuesday. I had forgotten how much time this diet requires; constant refills of water, constant runs to the bathroom, constant shake mixing. When you have to down ten packets of stuff a day and your cup's so small you can only take one at a time, you find that a lot of your time's dedicated to it. Thing is, work was busy and fairly demanding... though I did well with sticking to shakes and nothing else, I only ended up getting about four shakes in during the day, which is... 400 calories? I needed calories... but more importantly, my hungry, furious and bewildered stomach needed food.

I got a burrito at the local Green Burrito / Carl's Jr. The sad part? I filled my soda cup with water.

~ Wednesday went better. I woke up to a clean, water-filled shake cup, ready for some powder and a quick morning energy boost. Throughout the day, I got a good deal of shakes down. I brought a small jug from home for constant refills, and contented myself with tap water so I didn't have to take the trek down to the break room for our filtered water. I got about eight shakes down.

I ate a tiny brownie bite type thing I had at home called a Hello Dolly. I missed the taste and the person who made them for me and... yeah. Chomp.

~ On Thursday, I actually did pretty good! During lunch time, I went to GNC to buy a bigger shake cup and can now make two at a time. Though I still didn't get the full gallon of water down (and still haven't, any of these days), I'd managed to stick to shakes and nothing but the whole day.

~ On Friday, I met up with an old friend at a bar after work and bought everyone a shot. A shot of Jack Daniel (or worse: a Jack Daniel knock-off) on a stomach full of nothing but powdered protein shakes is brutal. I drove my friend home (just barely) and, using the alcohol as a flimsy excuse to cover up my insatiable craving for food, I got some Taco Bell.

At this point, I realized I was cheating on this diet, flat out and blatant, and it was getting out of hand. I knew at this point that the diet was difficult and that I couldn't deny it was torture any more than I could deny that I needed it.

Throughout this week, I'd already told a number of friends I had to pass on social outings/birthday celebrations because I knew food would be involved. Eventually, when I'm adjusted and food no longer looks like food (but instead a tumbler full of milky brown liquid does,) I can go to such outings confident that I will not be tempted to break the Dieter's Code. Now, though, when the thought of adobo and burritos still lingered in my mind, I knew I couldn't handle it.

So, I decided to make a compromise. I decided not to cheat, but instead to have controlled stress releases, not unlike tapping a valve that has built up too much pressure. I also decided that, for the first week of the diet, I'd replace two meals with shakes and would have one regular meal for the day.

There you have it. For Saturday, I had popcorn at the movie theater and a burrito at lunch. For Sunday, I had a burger from Jack In The Box. Today, I had some noodles at a local Chinese restaurant. It was my last meal before starting the shakes full-fledged.

Starting tomorrow, I go on the shakes non-stop. 1000 calories worth of shakes a day, a gallon of water a day and, eventually, some exercise thrown in as well. Also, to tap the pressure valve, I've allowed myself three regular (not ridiculous) meals a month, for special occasions such as family/friend visits, birthdays and company lunches.

Will it slow down my progress? Definitely. Will it be a drastic blow to my otherwise steadfast dedication? Probably not.

Will it keep me from going bat-shit crazy and missing my friends?

Probably. :]