Four Hundred and Fifty Five.

455.

With some clever engineering (read: being inspired by a picture of someone riding dolphins), I discovered I could get a fairly accurate weight reading by using two scales at once.

Yep, that's where I am right now. Two scales.

But, self loathing aside, I've finally a number to start at. It's higher than I had hoped but not as high as I'd feared, so there's that. Some friends and I have started a Weight Loss Challenge at work, wherein we weigh ourselves and measure our heights, then see who can lose the most based off of BMI percentage loss (or something). It's $20 each and while the prize is enticing, the inspiration is what I'm really after.

I've been lying and telling people I've been doing two shake meals a day and oen regular meal, when really I've just been doing three normal meals and maybe the occasional shake when I'm feeling particularly guilty. Furthermore, I haven't gone about finding a doctor yet; a roadblock in contact Blue Shield (essentially, laziness) has got me procrastinating on that.

If that weren't enough, Archer's coming out here in the end of July and he'll be here through August, and I plan on doing an all-family trip to Disneyland. I realize that it's too late now to lose a tremendous amount of weight before then, but I -can- build up my momentum and personal energy levels so that I can make it through a day bustling about Disneyland without getting tired.

And, you know, the whole I'll-die-soon-if-I-keep-this-up kind of thing's kind of a push, too.

I'm back on the shakes now and have every intention to stay this way. I've done it before and I can/will do it again. There's no reason not to, other than me holding myself back. Putting an actual number on it, and realizing deadlines is making these golden intentions into dire deadlines, though, and that works.

The first step is a doctor. I need to get this done the right way, I need to get measured and tested, and I need to see what my options for.

455. It's not the best, but it's a start, and that's all I've really needed.